Frederika Richardson Macdonald-New Year’s Eve—Midnight
New Year’s Eve—Midnight |
DEAD. The dead year is lying at my feet; In this strange hour the past and future meet; There is no present; no land in the vast sea; Appalled, I stand here in Eternity. Darkness upon me. On my soul it weighs; The gloom, that has crushed out the life of days That once knew light, has crept into my heart; I have not strength to bid it thence depart. Oh, what is Time? and what is Life, the fire That thrills my pulses with its large desire? Since at each step I rend a fragment of my soul, And growth means dying, whither is the goal? The old, old question! yet I do not shrink From bitter truths; I do not fear to drink Even to the dregs the cup that tears may fill; I ’d know God’s truth, though it were human ill. I have cast down the idols in my mind Which sought to comfort me for being blind; I need no pleasant lie to cheat the night, I need God’s Truth, that I may walk aright. That, and that only! with unflinching eyes I would tear through the secret of the skies; Smile on, ye stars; in me there is a might Which dares to scale your large empyreal height. Yet—yet—how shall it be? Time sweeps me on, And what one day I hold, the next is gone; The very Heavens are changed! the face they wore, A moment back, is lost to come no more. My soul along the restless current drifts, And to its sight the source of radiance shifts; Wildly I strive some gleam of truth to save, And cry, “God help me!” battling with the wave. God help me? Well I know the prayer is vain, Although it rush up to my lips again; I know His help was given with the Breath That leads me thus to struggle against death. No further help. No help beyond the soul, The fragment of Himself I hold in my control; From heaven, no stronger aid to lead me through the fight: In heaven, no higher aim to bind me to the Right. Thus stand I on the brink of this new year, Darkness upon me—not the work of fear. Powerless I know to check the river’s sweep, Powerful alone my own soul’s truth to keep. |